|
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
@
11:33 PM
Stupidity is a good word to describe me... I was really being stupid...I knew all this while this would not end up the way i thought it would be...i was just being mislead and also being fooled by you...and used by you all this while too...i thought it was over the day that thing happened...i was totally wrong... but maybe...oh well...it gave me a wake up call...just too many things bad things had happened to me this week...well...mayb not alot...cox...someone else was worse...but i could feel for her...but...haiz...whatever...i just think that my senses are numb already... just do whatever you want...and hopefully...you don't come to me for help again...cause it is just too taxing on me...i could not take it anymore...i feel pressured...just go...GO ON!!! don't ever come back and plead for my help again...i shall have a heart of a stone soon...cause being too soft-hearted makes me vulnerable...and my helpful and good nature (puke...but its true...not trying to praise myself) just makes it much more worse...im always being made use of...repeatedly...im quite used to it actually...but still...argh...no ise saying anymore...it makes no diff...it only reminds me of all the unhappiness and pain... okie...i've said my piece...and i think you won't know im talking about you even if you read this...but who cares...im just here to vent my frustrations... and oso...cm...plz...msg me as soon as possible that you are going to be alright and you will be fine soon...
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
@
11:02 PM
i dunno if u call it deja vu or wad...bt i woke up dis morning n had dis weird feeling dat sumthing bad was gonna happen 2dae...bt i wasn't sure wad...n worse is...i woke up wif swollen eyes...n in skool i kept sneezing...and i keep tearing lyk in d afternoon...im not kidding...it wasn't very obvious...bt i keep blinking my eyes...n wads weird is oso dat it hsan't been raining 4 d past few day...bt 2 nite it suddenly rained dam heavily... shyt man...n i jux had dis urge 2 msg cm in d evening...bt den since it was raining n i was holding laptop n stuff...n it was kinda troublesome 2 msg n hold my laptop...so i wanted 2 wait until i reached hm den msg...bt she msged me once i reached my hse outside d bus stop loh...i was quite surprised loh... aiyah...bt it doesn't matter...its jux dat wadever i felt 2dae n d intuition was finally rite...when she told me wad had happened...den only did everything fell into place...okie...when she told me...i was lyk drinking soup lah...den i choked on d soup...n nearly burst out in tears...bt den my mum n bro was dere...so i had 2 control...though my eyes started watering...i had 2 keep my head dwn while toking 2 my mum...den end up d steam frm d soup made my specs blur... yea...n den i was lyk quite shocked still lah...den ltr my bro sae gt CSI loh...my fav show lah...so i brought d soup out 2 d living rm....2 drink n watch tv...bt den i dunno y...after drinking d few mouthfuls...d soup was lyk tasteless...n worse is...dat soup is my fav vegetable soup...n den i ate d dishes n stuff...all felt tasteless...bt den i juz cont eating d vege frm d soup...cox i din wanna waste d vege...bt...den i really cannot drink d soup n eat liao...jux really no mood 2 eat 2dae...usually i would finish everything...2dae i could nt even eat 1/4... n den..i din even haf mood 2 watch CSI...dats lyk my fav show lah...i would miss it 4 d world...bt its jux lyk i lost control of all my senses...n i jux packed up everything n went up 2 bathe...it was den did i really burst out crying...since nobody would hear me...i noe everything sounds super exaggerated...n it din happened 2 me...bt it happened 2 my best fren...naturally i could feel...n i could sympathize... would u feel d same way 2 if ur bez fren's family member passed away??? would u sympathize??? would u cry wif him/her??? would u try ur bez 2 comfort her??? mayb u won't...mayb u would...mayb u r strong...mayb i am weak...mayb mayb mayb...bt i feel as though (touch wood) i had lost a family member or relative...i could feel it 2...u can laugh at me if u wan...wadever...im jux feeling very sad 2...jux sae wadever u wan...im soft-hearted...so be it... P.S. CM...if u r reading dis...plz be strong...u mux hang in dere...u'll b able 2 get over it soon...i'll be by your side whenever you need me...or if you need a shoulder to cry on...just hang in there...
@
1:32 AM
im bored of hmwk....im scared of butterflies nw...omg... im dam pissed 2...lyk wth...u tell me sumthing...n den after dat u dun wanna tell me d whole story...n left me hanging dere...hw i noe wad happen sia...wth...stupidity....
Monday, November 28, 2005
@
12:54 AM
Sunday, November 27, 2005
@
2:26 AM
@
1:38 AM
Twisted Mangle its not supposed to hurt this way...i need you...i need you...more and more each day... tell me...are you and me still together...tell me...do u think we're gonna last forever... went 4 Primary 6 gathering on friday...lol...lyk funny lah...P6 sia...n only bout 11 or 12 ppl went loh...bout at least i could recognise all...dey din change at all 2 me sia...lol...all still lok d same as d last tym i saw them..LOL... n siying took d P6 klas photo n blew it up 2 gif it 2 steven as a farewell gift...he is gonna return 2 indonesia sia...before going aus 2 study...lol...n in d foto i lok really stupid man...i jux realised it...i lok lyk a total geek man...omg...>.< dats lyk so spoil...haha...my hair totally sux...-.= mayb dats y ben yong din recognise me...lol...he cum only den he ask jeremy (i think =X) hu am i sia...funny lah...lol...n i carn believe jeremy still can rmb my aunt sia...lol...>.< n he is NYP oso??? haha...nvr seen him in skool though...its lyk kinda hard 2 c him anyway...since he is lyk engineering wan...haha...
Friday, November 25, 2005
@
2:05 AM
lyk wtf??? fucking ppl...wads wrong wif u ppl man...u dragged me deep into d mud..n left me dere...okie...so...mayb i walked in dere myself...i was stupid...n after all i've done 2 help u...u dun gif a dam 2 me anyway...so wads d whole point...jux gif up gal...ur juz being plain stupid...u dun even realised u were being used frm d 1st dae...ur juz hurting urself over n over again...dere izzen hope 4 u...its still darkness...u jux gonna keep searching...n frm nw on...only d true light will lead me on...nt d stupid lighters... i jux gonna leave u alone...its stupid..im even more stupid...n u r idiotic...bt u dun even realised d damage u've done 2 me...mayb u'll nvr noe...COX U DUN EVEN CARE!!! mayb i shud haf given up long ago...holding on was fucking hell...it wasn't worth it...i did all i could...it did turn out rite...it turned out...i had helped u get ur gf...n den when dere probs..u cum 2 me...i helped u nevertheless...i shud haf juz left u alone...mayb i won feel so bad...it jux hurts deep down inside...lyk...fuck lah...being used by u...oer and over again... fuck...guys...pfft...fucking...fucked up wif u...hope u realise it...bt u won...cox i will nvr tell u...i'll jux treat it as nth...
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
@
1:45 AM
It's OVER!!! lol...yea...my bdae is offically over...haha...spent d whole day in skool...lyk best lah??? lol...10am-9pm? crap..bt i gt a nice, lovely chocolate cake...haha...my sis bought frm bishan...haha...so i celebreated at lyk 10 plus...lol...while i was eating my dinner halfway...lol...bt d cake was nice man...=D and oso...i wanna thank dose hu wished me...practically my whole klas peeps did...though most spammed me...haha...bt 4 lyk qiulin mei..lol..din expect her 2 wish me...haha...n yea...darius was d 1st 2 wish me though...wished me d day before...at 11.45pm...lol..=D n fakko ting oso...he was lyk happy birthday 4 mins ltr...lol...crappy...many wished me a few tyms man...thnx alot man...lol... lyk hong wee, lee yeung, zi shen, kirby and another guy (i think)...hu mass msged me...spammed my hp...lol...jux after i took d same train wif them except hong wee...lol...i walk out only den i check my hp...lol...7 msgs...den i was lyk...oh man...until i opned d msges...spammers!!! lol...though hong wee n lee yeung msged 2 my old number...haha...n i still wanna noe hu d other person is sia...y nvr reply n tell me hu r u???!!! lol...stupid sia...lol...n u msged me 3 tyms loh...ain't u gonna tell me hu r u?? haha...thankz 2 all u ppl man...=P hohoho...2dae d poster ting talked 2 us again...n he gt pissed...n called us ah lians??? and scold us knn leh....TING!!! help us (me and ant) 2 scold him back!!! lol...so stupid...c lah...dats d prob...dunno which is real which is fakko... so, 'Will the REAL ThING please stand up, please wake up..." lol...2moro...ting gonna get whack frm me...lol...n i gonna treat u water 2...frm ur hse...which d fakko ting said was dirty...haha...
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
@
12:09 AM
yea...happy birthday 2 myself man...i was jux scolding myself jux nw...i feel dam stupid...i crushed my own hard work...dam letters...n i hurted my shoulders 2...dammit...pretty pissed wif myself...bt den end up i gt no choice...hafta redo both...dammit...din wan 2 redo d letter C wan loh...bt...argh...wadever... pissed~~~
Sunday, November 20, 2005
@
3:23 AM
I LOVE MY SISI!!! omg...she bought a FourSkin bag 4 my bdae...omg...dat bag is lyk dam ex??? 50 bucks 4 a bag??? omg... >.< bt i love it... =D thnx man... THANKZ PIGGY (ALEX =X), KIEN and FELI 2... thankx 4 d presents man...esp piggy...lol...love u ppl man...haha...love d card n stuff...n dat dunno glass bkmark or wad is dat 4...haha...had fun 2dae man...haha...arcade n stuff...thnx 4 d early celebration...woohoo~~~ bt its gonna b a horrible bdae...10am-9pm in skool...my life's screwed big time... but 1 stupid asshole had 2 sum disturb me n spoil my mood...>.< urgh wadever...u suckx...
Thursday, November 10, 2005
@
10:58 PM
Sounds of the rain Hearing the howling rain the sound of pitter-patter the sound of running feet splashing of passing cars faint music from a nearby radio quick slamming of car doors occasional louder howling occasional louder pitter-patter the combination creates a new piece of music score each note was unique it was a masterpiece in its own unique and special way note: this was my favourite 'poem' out of 4 dat i wrote...haha...though i think i dun write good stuff...bt dis was what i really felt at dat point of tym... =D
@
10:45 PM
Dreams Sitting in the car with the stinging rain falling against my bare skin Thinking of when they will be back At the same time thinking of the beach again Wanna feel the soft silky sand flowing through the gap of my hands the feeling is just fantastically wonderfully relieving no words can describe d feeling at dat moment i just wanna relive that feeling It's just so unforgettable Memories that will last me a lifetime
@
10:27 PM
im sick...yea...no...seriously...im sick... i've got sore throat... im feeling freaky hot... i've got cough... no one seems 2 gif a damn... wad a shyt... fu*cked up life man... dis sux... and u keep pouring me wif qns i could nvr ans... its is nvr ending... if u wanna b a gd bf... go figure it out urself... its nt lyk i can tell u every step of d way wad 2 do man... it jux hurts me much more... even if u dunno... u may think its nth... but its was everything 2 me... now its gone... i'll be gone soon... Sickness Devoured The Stupid Kid
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
@
12:27 AM
im back frm perth!!! lol...actually i came back last nite...but 2 bz 2 post...haha...anyway...it was quite fun...for d day i went 2 d theme park esp... bt den er...had stomach ache when i was on d plane on d way dere...dam terrible...stomach flu i guess...could nt eat...i kept turning around in my seat...lol...den after landed liao take medicine felt beta le...haha... den on d 6th day i had terrible stomachache and headache again...dis tym it was worse...dam giddy and weak man...dunno y...cannot even lift my own arm sia...den end up dat day nvr go out...nt onli cox i was sick...but my sis was even sicker den me....she vomited d nite b4...i only felt lyk vomitting d whole day...so i dare nt drink or eat anything...bt i ended up waking up at 12 midnight and could not fall aslp...so i drank lots of water jux 2 vomit out... >.< and i wrote a few so called poems...more lyk story/prose 2 me...cox it doesn't rhymes...lol...dunno shud i write them here...haha...2 lazy....lol..
@
12:25 AM
things were meant to be easier... but it got harder... it became more and more complicated... i dunno wad to do... i shall not think bout it... i wanna be happy and free again... but im caught in d middle again...
| 
