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Wednesday, December 31, 2008
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5:58 PM
went to watch 'Bedtime Stories' at amk hub. it is a really nice movie! and of course, all stories will have happy endings. and adam sandler in it just makes it ever so comedic. haha. i still wanna watch YESMAN even though i kinda know how it will turn out anyway. so i'll be going to IndoChine with ting and the whole lot for countdown tonight. brother will be going to MOS. HAHA! to drink jolly shandy. LOL. and sis will be off to bf's place. so well, only my parents and grandma will be home. counting down to a new year!!! if someone gave me 10 cents for every stare i got at my hair or that shiny tie i wore, i might have made about 50 bucks! tonight will be the night that i will fall for you
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
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6:51 PM
half my hair's gone for now. here's the half that is left. everyone can only look at the right side of my head. haha. cause the other side is botak. 
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1:52 PM
i really have the urge to go cut my hair today. wanna get rid of the left over 'white hair' streaks. i wanna dye whole head bright auburn or burgundy color before chinese new year. though orange streaks on the fringe sounds cool too. haha. and though i like my current kinda emo hair... i wanna cut a side of my head really short and look like this.   maybe i'll wait for my phone to finish charging and see how it goes.
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3:24 AM
I miss having someone to play pool with. If it is a one person thing, I don't mind. But it's hard.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
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4:08 PM
i hate it when my dad drags us to meet his friends like for social gatherings. it's not fun. we sit there and you guys just talk. i don't even know what you guys are talking. and i don't like it if you try dragging me into the conversation by trying to make me talk about my school work and what i do. films i like and stuff. my interest doesn't really concern anyone, does it?
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1:29 AM
okay...i'm getting a little giddy already. cause my sis and her BFF is hiding in my dad's hi-fi room and applying nail polish. in that tiny little room?! with the aircon on some more. i don't want to die of over intoxication of nail polish scents but if you want, don't open the damn door. everytime you open the door, it's like a gail of horrible smell rushes out. i don't even know how the heck you can take it in that 2mx2m room. dad is so gonna kill you tomorrow when he turns on the aircon. i bet the smell is gonna stay for a looooong time in the aircon. so i might be off to sleep early today. if not for crazy people talking to me online now. ask me lim kopi in the middle of the night when my head is spinning and temples throbbing. siao siao.... moreover my stomach has been acting real weird for me lately. keeps growling for no reason.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
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2:13 AM
oh hell. i didn't know that fruit salad would make my gastric hurt worse. maybe it's that passion fruit or orange or green apples or whatever. it's hurting real bad. inside is all growly and noisy and moving around. stop eating my walls. it's not nice.
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12:39 AM
just came back from watching Ip Man with peifen and siji. thanks to their dad for dropping me off at my place. and back to the movie... it was awesome! love the fighting scenes and the fighting spirit of the Chinese. i only hate the bending and breaking of bones part during the fights. they always make me cringe and turn my head away. Wing Chun is a very famous martial arts training place and Bruce Lee was even a disciple from there! everyone should catch it! it teaches us a little about china's history and what supposedly happened during the japanese occupation. and it always makes me snigger when i hear people pronounce the title as I.P Man. like Superman, Spiderman, etc. this makes it sound like some chinese superhero movie. though i must not laugh at those who pronounce it wrong if they are not cantonese. cause it's pronounced in canto. but then again, they wrote (eep.mun) under the title Ip Man. so... up to you to interprete then. i'm not saying my canto is fantastic either. it sucks real bad. but generation after generation, our own culture is fading away. plans for new year's eve countdown? anyone?
Friday, December 26, 2008
Yours Truly @
7:36 PM
when everything around me changes and i don't know what is going on anymore. i used to find a need to fit in wherever i go. be it with friends or family or whatever. now, i don't give a shit no more. i don't fit in anymore. i am who i am. to put it crudely, i'm guai4 lan3. haha. a rebel through and through. cause i'm not going to take any shit from nobody. You weren't thereYou never wereYou want it allBut that's not fairI gave you lifeI gave my allYou weren't thereYou let me fall
Thursday, December 25, 2008
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6:50 PM
and christmas day is spent sitting infront of the computer half the day. cause i woke up at 3pm. and had lunch at 4pm. haha. yesterday was the usual annual xmas eve party at my place. i cooked fried black pepper udon again. this is our nicely lit christmas tree. with nice presents under it.  this year we have alot more presents than the last few years. it's overflowing with goodness. heh.  this is how my dad wrapped the presents. the pointy rounded shape one is his own present. and the other one is for my mum.    my sis, bro and me always look weird together. my bro's eyes are always squinty and my sis likes to look off cam(sometimes). and i just look weird. haha.  and here's me posing like i'm advertising for Casio's Baby G's watch. my sis bought this for me. =D  i didn't want to spam my post with tonnes of pictures that i took last night so i just posted a few of the trees and pictures of me and my own presents. haha. and i'm happy. but i think the happiest must be my bro. cause he got his ipod touch. all other presents doesn't really matter to him already. haha. cause he left his Lacoste polo tee my sis bought for him lying around on my table. oh well, this year i didn't buy anything for my sis or bro (kinda had a small share in the ipod touch only). but i might be paying for the casing that my bro is going to buy for his ipod touch. and i bought a dvd player for my mum, a radio cum cd player cum tape player for my grandma, a cooler/warmer mini fridge for my aunt, and a berms for my dad. and i realised i like to start my posts and sentences with 'and'. which is wrong grammer. 'and' cannot be the start of a sentence. well, i like to defy the norm. like staying home on a christmas day. i spend time with my loved ones and my bro and sis have gone out to meet their 'other' loved ones. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! i'm left with 2 more months before i head back to aussie. and i might be gone for a whole year at end. we'll see. cheers to Jasleen for calling all the way from M'sia! take care you!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
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11:15 PM
yesterday was out with ting and her usual clique of friends. went to party world and we sang and screamed until i was hoarse and my throat hurt. let's start off with gary and gerald dancing.  and gerald belting out 月亮代表我的心 to kaiyun.   ting looks absolutely crazy here.        ting's head is too heavy and i'm trying very hard to support it. haha.  oh well. trying to heal the damn painful throat now. before the xmas eve party. should try to sleep early today then.
i've realised so many things about myself lately. and it's not gonna help me to sleep any earlier.
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11:06 PM
have i been a time-filler? androjeanius.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
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3:28 AM
Thursday, December 18, 2008
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4:49 AM
i need to sleep before 4AMs or 5AMs. or i might really scare the shit out of myself.  
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
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10:02 PM
dropped by 10 twenty-eight at tanjong katong and then took a bus down to bugis. shopped at bugis street and bugis village. but i saw alot of things i wanna get at bugis street. and i stopped myself. only bought a 15bucks cap. i saw so many nice tees and all the 8bucks ties!! ahh....15 bucks berms were everywhere. still wondering if i should buy the skinnies. ah well, i wear liao also become straight cut liao. walked to OG and then went back to bugis street to get the berms for my dad. hope it fits well. bugis village don't look too interesting to me though. haha. i still like the bargains at bugis street. but not the horrible tiny space and the crowd. then i took a bus to thomson plaza. decided to drop in to buy my dinner and also shop a little again. and i bought my 3rd aunt's christmas present. i've spent at least 200 bucks in the last 2 days only. gosh. i'm seriously broke already. haven't bought the dvd player for my mum and the ipod touch for my bro. and my other 2 aunts. i dunno what to get. left only a few more days to the party. oh well. tomorrow will most probably be towning then. i hate other school holidays to coincide with mine. especially primary and secondary school kids. zzz....
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12:02 AM
watched Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist today. it was damn funny! i like the 3 gay boys. damn funny can! hahaha! and the random 'gay' hand-holding moment was awesome. hahaha! and i recommend it! it's damn good. cause Micheal Cera always has that weird awkward grin whenever he trys to smile. makes me look abit like a dork. haha! and he said some damn random stuffs! 'I asked for Ellen's haircut.' 'You don't know what it's like to be straight.' 'Well, you're two penises short of a Shania Twain reimagination band!' 'If anyone is getting raped in that van, it'll be a guy. ' i think there are countless gay jokes in the movie. oh...and there was a part that was barf-worthy. which made me cringe and 'scream' and hide behind my jacket. well, the whole cinema was squirming and making 'ahh!!' noises too. haha. there were some funny quotes from the movie too. [to Norah] Dev(one of the 3 gays): It was a great night, my hetero heroine. ah well...it was a great day. great companionship. sorry i couldn't help you much with your horrible CCA my friend. and i can't say much also. so well, hope you'll be fine and happy soon. if not we'll need a sengkang session soon.lol. We've had one too many 'first time's together. Ahhh, the memories...
Monday, December 15, 2008
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7:01 PM
i escaped from home for a cycle cause i couldn't get away from all that constant non-stop nagging from my mum. when you tell me the first time to do something and i didn't, it doesn't mean that constantly breathing down my neck will do the trick either. it only makes both of us damn irritated and make me lose my respect for you more. so does my dislike for you. so while i was cycling and feeling the wind through my hair and down the back of my shirt. i felt happy and free. and then realising that i have to go back home in an hour's time is just killjoy. as i was on my way back from bishan park, i saw 2 mediacorp artiste walking or probably going to jog. i went to mediacorp website to look up these 2 guys. so here they are:  Dai Yang Tian from the Little Nonya, the 'Japanese' guy in the show that made Jeanette Aw's kid. haha. i didn't even realise his name until i looked him up. and he sure doesn't have such nice hair in real life. he had this weird curly like hair that is only on the top. like the sides were shaven. looks kinda funny. but still quite shaui. somehow he looks like the older version of Nat Ho. &  Zhang Yao Dong. dunno why he looked kinda shocked to see me. cause i cycled past them and just glanced to make eye contact. and then he turned back to look at me again. and then i decided to be nice and buy the agar agar from the sembawang hill food center near my place. and then it started raining as i was leaving the place. and i hurried off. but it got heavier and then i got totally drenced by the time i cycled back. so much so that my glasses were fogged and the rain hit my eyelids so much i was practically forcing my eyes to stay open to look ahead. so it was a pretty awesome ride back! damn good adrenaline rush! i felt happy and wet. HAHA! i would do that again anytime soon! but maybe not kill my bike. maybe just run in the rain or dance and sing in the rain. haha. it's like the rain washed away all my troubles. i realised i don't really like rainy days if i wanna go out or if i'm staying at home cause i'll be emo. but i like rainy days if i can go out and play in it and get drenched. haha. how fickle-minded i am. i need my freedom. i need to go back to australia. now.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
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12:31 AM
'Happiness is only possible through truth' maybe that's why i can never feel real happiness. there's this nagging feeling at the back of my head. always. i only feel at ease with people who knows the real me. and those are the ones who appear in and out of my life. and the real friends who never leaves, don't know the real me. cause i care enough to not hurt anyone. but maybe i'm just selfish. i just don't wanna get hurt. cause i know how its gonna be like. this is why my life is so fucked up. i've been living a lie. i want to talk to someone... someone who can understand how i feel... someone who won't shut me out... but i can't. i don't even know where to start. i'm not even sure what this fucked up thing is. fucking identity shit. no, i don't identify with anything! i don't really care what anyone thinks. cause this is me. its always been me. but never about me. Labels: i don't want no fucking labels
Saturday, December 13, 2008
when grades isn't ABCDs anymore. @
2:23 PM
and i got back my results for this semester. HDC006 Managing Design - D HDD0009 Careers In The Curriculum - COMP HDFTV212 Cinematography And Lighting: Film Production - HD HDFTV222 Film Screening Series - Production And Direction/Miff - C HDFTV223 Screen Editing Techniques & Dvd Authoring - D
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3:57 AM
i trust too easily and fall too hard. is this what they call loyalty? i just splurged on 2 pairs of shoes and 300bucks on a camera.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
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7:21 PM
oh wow. i'm freaking amazed by this damn awesome kid!! she belted out some really awesome songs!! and the 2nd video is probably quite recent. and look at the way she danced!! oh my....first video was probably when she is around 9 or 10 i think. and she's filipino!! miss farah should be proud!! heh....i think she is 16 this year. all these amazing young talents. and because of that amazing song she sang and danced to on the singing competition 'Little Big Star', she became a sensation. and now she is having performances all over the United States! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0a2iwEPNgQ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEImOOA2rh4&feature=related
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
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11:26 PM
and now i finally bought myself a sling bag that i can put in huge ass laptop in. i'm happy!! it's 50 bucks. but for gravis, worth it. was 90 bucks, but got 40%. cause i think it's old design. but i still like it. haha. no more bags for me. but, shoes here i come! heh... went to heeren to buy my bag, walked around, went suntec, looked at shoes, saw a 70 bucks one. only pair. but seems too big for me. probably go back aussie to buy then, cause i don't wanna have excess baggage when i go back again. enough stuff for now. but i like the topman tees i saw. plain tees but with 3 buttons and v-neck kinda design. hmm. bright colors too. but i bought the same kinda design tees in aussie. but cheaper. and suddenly i have alot of purple stuff. hmm..... not to self: STOP BUYING STUFF!!! but buy present for people! i owe alot of people christmas presents. haven't bought anything for my whole family. i don't work how to have money sia. zzzz...
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3:39 PM
you know something is not quite right when you realise you don't have anyone to ask out. even on a school holiday break. or you don't get replies. i'm off to town then. hope my bag is still there.
Monday, December 08, 2008
cause it's something that no one can really comprehand. or ever feel. @
12:31 PM
and now that i have survived a horrible night of alcohol intoxication at zouk, i realised the seriousness it was. i hope it wasn't alcohol poisoning. yes, i fainted for a few minutes, lost control of my body, and just hang on tight to the barrier for support. during which i can even hear my own slow heavy breathing, which i was forcing myself to do as that is the only that remind me that i'm still alive. if i wasn't standing right by the stage, i would have dropped dead on the floor. and in my mind something kept shouting to ask me to breathe and stay awake. but another part was telling me that i was dying right there. i opened my eyes to try and look around. but despite all the flashing laser lights everywhere, all i could see was darkness. it's exactly like i had my eyes wide shut. and then i suddenly puked, after which i came to my senses slowly. my eyes opened but everything was still a blur. i couldn't see anything. but i heard people screaming and shouting and cursing at me. someone was screaming 'cheebye nah beh fuck...' and a whole string of other words that i can't remember. haha. i think that was eleine's friend. i'm so sorry. luckily she was standing a little to the side and not directly infront of me. or else she might have bashed me up. or her bf would have. then someone wearing a red wig to my left was patting my head asking if i was alright. lol. i couldn't even remember faces. somehow at some point my brain was telling me, just drop dead and die lah. right there in the club with steve aoki dj-ing on the stage. i probably drank a little too much before the alcohol kicked in. now that i had a taste of death, i never wanna feel that again. it's all fucked up. and now that i suddenly thought about alcohol poisoning, i went wiki to look it up. and here's the result: The following lists the effects of alcohol on the body, depending on the blood alcohol concentration or BAC.[4][5][6] Remember that tolerance varies considerably between individuals. - Please note: the BAC percentages provided below are just estimates and used for illustrative purposes only. They are not meant to be an exhaustive reference; please refer to a healthcare professional if more information is needed.
- Euphoria (BAC = 0.03 to 0.12%).
- Subjects may experience an overall improvement in mood and possible euphoria.
- They may become more self-confident or daring; they may become more friendly or talkative, and/or social.
- Their attention span shortens. They may look flushed.
- Their judgment is not as good—they may express the first thought or action that comes to mind, rather than an appropriate comment for the given situation. See: in vino veritas
- They have trouble with fine movements, such as writing or signing their name.
- Lethargy (BAC = 0.09 to 0.25%)
- Subjects may become sleepy.
- They have trouble understanding or remembering things, even recent events. They do not react to situations as quickly.
- Their body movements are uncoordinated; they begin to lose their balance easily, stumbling; walking is not stable.
- Their vision becomes blurry. They may have trouble sensing things (hearing, tasting, feeling, etc.).
- Confusion (BAC = 0.18 to 0.30%)
- Profound confusion—uncertain where they are or what they are doing. Dizziness and staggering occur.
- Heightened emotional state—aggressive, withdrawn, or overly affectionate. Vision, speech, and awareness are impaired.
- Poor coordination and pain response. Nausea and vomiting sometimes occurs.
- Stupor (BAC = 0.25 to 0.40%)
- Movement severely impaired; lapses in and out of consciousness.
- Subjects can slip into a coma; will become completely unaware of surroundings, time passage, and actions.
- Risk of death is very high due to alcohol poisoning and/or pulmonary aspiration of vomit while unconscious.
- Loss of bodily functions can begin, including bladder control, breathing, heart rate.
- Coma (BAC = 0.35 to 0.50%)
- Unconsciousness sets in.
- Reflexes are depressed (i.e., pupils do not respond appropriately to changes in light).
- Breathing is slower and more shallow. Heart rate drops. Death usually occurs at levels in this range.
- Death (BAC more than 0.50%)
and i think i fall under the category of between 'Stupor' and 'Coma'? risk of death is very high?! wtf. i escaped near death. and now i'm pretty sure i got some form of alcohol poisoning. that's some serious shit i must say. probably another reason why i get drunk so easily and can't drink alot is because i suspect i have a case of talasemia, a kind of anemia, which is low red blood cells count. my dad's younger sister has a case of it and so does their dad, my grandfather. so it might be in he blood. and it doesn't help that i don't like to eat red meat and food with alot of iron. which is why i get black out easily even on any normal day if i were to squat down and stand up too fast. and the reduction of red blood cells means that when i drink, the oxygen in the red blood cells won't be able to overcome the alcohol in the blood stream, so it stays in my blood longer. and kills me slowly. staying off alcohol and 5 10 for quite abit now. cause i almost died. sorry for the super long post on all the scientific research and information overload. haha.
Horrible shit... @
3:49 AM
I kinda concussed just now. For a really long time I couldn't see anything or hear anything at all. I thought i was going to drop dead and die there and then. The feeling is fucking horrible. Never felt that kinda numbness and lost of feeling all over my body before. All i could hear was people shouting away. And it sounded damn far away. I heard people asking if i was okay when i was slumped over the barrier. And then next thing I know, I puked. It always have to happen at least once. And then all that electric made me heart pound so fast that I felt horrible once again. I had to run out and sit by the drain. The feelin of wantng to puke but nothing comes out is damn bad. End up Zicong came out to help me get my bag and all. Thanks DJ Zach for not leaving me by the roadside and sending me home too. Way to go brudder!! And I should sleep. Fucking headache and numbness. Injection still hurts like shit. ~it's 4am I'm waking up to your perfume~
Friday, December 05, 2008
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10:53 PM
i think i feel claustrophobic when strangers sit too close to me and invade my personal space. i felt myself gripping to the seat a little to tight. and once again, i'm confused.
free starbucks coffee! yesterday. @
1:44 PM
cause now i will go to heaven! and all those stupid people who took free coffee but didn't want to donate any money and didn't even dare to look at me in the face to reject me will go to hell! haha! and i realised grown 'kids' like maybe sec 4 or jc, poly and older teens are more willing to donate. and they donate willingly! not bad not bad. and that paikia kid that i 'kinda' know, didn't even dare look at me when i asked for donations. tsk tsk. the boyfriend also cannot make it lah. xiao pai kias. tsk tsk. like i care actually. i know i'm a bad rotten kid, so 1 day of charity work won't bring me to heaven anytime soon. ah well. there were some awesome people though. thanks for the donations, random people!
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
stupid ranting post. @
4:14 PM
everytime i bleed i always have this urge to kill the nearest person to me. maybe i'm actually a cold blooded serial killer who only strikes once a month. not only does it pose as an inconvenience, it hurts like fuck. literally, for first timers that is. haha. but maybe not to all women. i know some don't even feel a thing. but for me i feel damn bloated and sometimes i try hitting my abdomen to kill the pain. doesn't work but at least psychologically it works. i don't get why only the women have to suffer so much. and the men get away scot-free with so many things. expecially when they just plant their seeds and then the woman have to suffer for 9 months and as if all that bloatedness, sudden cravings, swollen feet, stretch marks wasn't enough. she have to suffer for a few hours when giving birth with all that horrible contraction pains. push! push! PUSH!! it hurts like shit can. another reason why i don't believe there is a god. cause he never hears my prayers. wonder if i pray to be knocked down by a car the next time i cross a zebra crossing or something will it work? sorry for this rather crude post. but stupid guys who can get away with everything, eat shit. heh.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
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1:20 PM
i need to get out of this hell hole. i still wonder how did i get more depressed and emo after i come back HOME? i need my friends. all you busy people. =(
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2:48 AM
and i have no idea why i torture myself like that everyday. by forcing myself to stay awake way past my sleeping time. 'my coping mechanism' hah! i quoted that from this very horrible blogger who cuts herself and post all the horrible pictures blood and all in it's full glory for everyone to see. and i just check it to give you guys a link to see for yourself. but apparently she closed it down. and i just went to it like 3 days ago. damn. it's like a hardcore gore movie ala final destination or SAW. but it's real not reel. no camera tricks. but i guess you can still view one of her gross picture via this kinda-famous blogger aka xiaxue's new BFF. xiaxue's new BFF.aka.Andie it's not an advert for the blogger. but cause i didn't want to kill everyone's eyes by uploading the picture on my own blog. just scroll down to november 25th's entry. prepare yourself first. it's damn hardcore. don't say i didn't warn you. cause i almost puked my lunch out. probably 3am is a good time to fall asleep.
Monday, December 01, 2008
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6:13 PM
and parents called from singapore changi airport!! yay!! finally home!! safely!! and they departed from a military airport i bangkok. awesome!! haha!
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3:10 PM
at the rate that i'm eating/not eating, i might get gastric cancer pretty soon.
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2:16 PM
another reason why i can't cook in peace at home. grandma irritates me too much. telling me still have this still have that. bah. like a human fridge inventory system. ah well. i really should think of ways to appreciate her before its too late and i regret. bah. i really should go out to run my errands. or just run.
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