|
|
Saturday, January 31, 2009
@
12:28 AM
Sitting Down Here - Lene MarlinI'm sitting down here, But hey you can't see me Your words cut deeply, They're just some other lies I'm hiding from a distance, I've got to pay the price Defending all against it, I really don't know why You're obsessed with all my secrets, You always make me cry You seem to wanna hurt me No matter what I do I'm telling just a couple, But somehow it gets to you But I've learned to get revenge And I swear you'll experience that some day I'm sitting down here, But hey you can't see me Kinda invisible You don't sense my stay Not truly hiding, not like a shadow Just thought I would join you for one day I'm sitting down here, But hey you can't see me I'm not trying to avoid you, Just don't wanna hear your voice When you call me up so often, I don't really have a choice You're talking like you know me And wanna be my friend But that's really too late now, I won't try it once again You may think that I'm loser, But I don't really care You may think that it's forgotten, But you should be aware Cause I've learned to get revenge And I swear you'll experience that some day I'm sitting down here, But hey you can't see me Kinda invisible You don't sense my stay Not truly hiding, not like a shadow Just thought I would join you for one day I'm sitting down here, But hey you can't see me Kinda invisible You don't sense my stay Not truly hiding, not like a shadow But sure I wanna join you for one day You seem to wanna hurt me No matter what I do I'm telling just a couple, But somehow it gets to you But I've learned to get revenge And I swear you'll experience that some day 4x I'm sitting down here, But hey you can't see me Kinda invisible You don't sense my stay Not truly hiding, not like a shadow Just thought I would join you for one day
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
@
9:35 PM
 It's Chinese New Year but there's too much to think about at the moment.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
@
1:28 AM
when sometimes things get too tired around me, i miss the good ol' times. when it is a fun night of great songs, food, company and reminiscing. when nothing stayed on my mind for more than 5mins. when unhappy thoughts come and go like the breeze. i sure do miss many hangouts around singapore.    
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Another wonderfully awesome day. @
3:15 AM
Wow. I have to say I'm pretty impressed with my brother these few days. He has stopped playing that game of his and he now has time to talk to me and my mum. Even takes the effort to make small talk with us and start to take interest about things that is going on around him. I'm wondering what brought about this change of attitude. If it's because of his current girlfriend, who seems pretty nice, I will certainly look forward to meeting her soon and thanking her. So many people have tried to peel my brother away from his computer and we have failed miserably. Even asking him to help with stuff around the house he will make hell lot of noise and be pissed about leaving his game for even 5 mins. And when we talked about going to mustafa after dinner just now, he said he wanted to follow us and imagine out shock. Cause my brother HATES shopping. And especially if it's mustafa. Cause he is always complaining about all the color-related stuff. However, after about 1.5hrs, he started complaining about being bored and wanting to leave. But I'm glad he didn't throw tantrums and give us the black face like he would have done last time. He just kept saying he wanted to go and eat prata already. Haha. Ah well. Small steps at a time. But I'm really happy for him. He is starting to be more likeable. Which is what I need, at least for one sibling. I'm glad to have this other side of my stupid fatty brother I seldom see. Haha. I hope it stays this way. Big improvement, fatty. And it feels good to be able to talk to you rather than always being able to only look at the back of your head. And on the other hand of other stuff about relationships, I'm glad I'm starting to spend more time with friends again. Hopefully even more in February. So many things planned but seems like so little time left. It's only one month before I'll be leaving for Aussie again. Feels good to finally play pool again. Songs were good, company was good, games were fun. Ichiban sushi is damn awesome. Bugis tomorrow!!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Bitch/rant session. @
1:36 AM
Bitching about my sister and brother in the middle of the night with my aunt is pretty fun. Now I realise how much they have in common. the laziness. and my sis is still pathetic. How much have I said that I hated her? The topic is getting old pretty fast already. She just came back about 2 hours ago, the last time I saw her was on Friday for about 3 mins when she ran in and 'Hi, Bye.' me. She came home and ran upstairs without even a hi to me, told my aunt she was sick and she have 2 days MC. She said she have been vomiting anything she eats. She went to the doctors but they don't know what's wrong with her. Is it weird that i don't even feel anything? Like not even a tiny bit of sympathy for her? Maybe it's all these negative feelings I have for her that is preventing me to have any positive feelings towards her. Just as well. She earned that herself. Everything she does, everything quarrel we have, just builds another layer of distrust, ignorance and my dislike for her between us. Maybe in the future I might regret all these, but what the heck. I'm happy with where I am and what I have now. So 1 less person in my life is not going to make any much difference, considering she wasn't really a whole person in my life to start with. Besides, I have other more important persons in my life to care about then waste my time on her. Even though there may not be many, I will be just fine with how ever few friends I have and rather not have the sister-who-was-never-there to try to ever get involved in my life again. I guess this is where I have already almost completely shut my own sister out of my own life. I guess 2009 is not going to be a good year after all. I can't believe how many important events I will be missing out this year. Even though I have not been very involved in trying to forge new relationships or trying to strengthen the old ones, there are many things I wish I will be able to be part of to create at least some wonderful memories for those I hold close to me. however things never goes as planned. It is just like the Murphy's Law: 'Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.' That is probably one sentence that just sums up my life.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
@
3:16 PM
Jean Anne wants to extend an invitation out to anyone who wants to come by her place during Chinese New Year.
ting, when are you free for steamboat/makan session? wt, serene and jy too? maybe we should ask yl too. where has she disappeared to?
Friday, January 16, 2009
@
7:33 PM
i just bought 130 bucks worth of clothes at bugis street just now. kinda for cny cause got 2 shirts are red. haha. but my mum paid for my purchases! yay! anyway i'm not really looking forward to tomorrow.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
@
7:37 PM
wonder why can't i stay near friends who are willing to go night cycling with me?
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
@
12:09 AM
when you have gone for too long and realise that there is nothing to talk about anymore. no one to call for help, no one to talk to that easily, when all those memories flood back, it hurts, so bad. you'll know what i am feeling right now. when everything changes, i thought i didn't change. but i guess i did. i was the one who went away for 3 months. i am the one who came back and is leaving again in another month's time. and i will be gone for another year. how much more can i take? part of me wants to stay another part wants to leave now. this year is supposed to be a big thing for all my friends my age. but look at how many to-be-made memories that i'm gonna miss. how many events that i'm gonna miss. and i really hate editing. i suck really bad at it. i don't know all that setting and when i realised something is wrong. i finished editing the whole project. so it's either redoing the whole damn thing or i don't give a damn. and all that rendering time doesn't make anything better. and for this, i cannot turn my back to it. everyone expects something good. my mum is gonna flip if i give up now. blah... i feel tired...i wanna get out.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Katherine Moennig @
10:34 PM
Presenting Katherine Moennig!! She is arguably the most androgynous actress I've seen. and I bet it's her character in the show that made the drama series The L Word so popular. people watch the series for her and maybe the drama. haha. now I have to search for season 5. I needa get the whole series when they finally finish season 6. hopefully they have a collector series. haha! and now i'm off to watch Will & Grace. and I leave you all to gawk at her awesomeness!! haha!    
Thursday, January 08, 2009
@
5:30 PM
omg. i just read some of my older blog posts and i sound super bimbo and i bitch about everything! my english was damn horrible and i typed in that short formed sms language that some i don't even understand anymore. and i even make up my own words. what the heck is 'fakko'?! and the nicknames i gave people. haha! 'smellybelly'! good times...good times. another reason why i don't wanna change my blog. to keep all that memories there. all the good and bad. =) and looking back. i kinda miss those walks in sengkang in the middle of the night. that playground. where i almost crushed my knee by landing on it after jumping off the climbing bars.
@
5:18 PM
when no one knows me like you do.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
1000th post!! @
9:11 PM
ooo! guess what i'm gonna post about on my 1000th post? how about tetanus and gangrene and foot binding? and i was reading up and the pictures are damn freaking horrible. i almost couldn't eat my dinner. and my WTF?! face was permanantly stuck for damn long. and i probably looked just like this:  and apparently a few famous people died from tetanus when they stepped on a nail and got infection from that. and these are horrible flesh eating like infections. and it's easy to get. now you know why if you get any open wound you should seek professional help and make sure your wounds heal properly. don't let it get infected. argh. it's potentially fatal!!! ' Fournier gangrene usually affects the male genitals.' was from wiki and i googled that. it's damn fucking gross. don't even look that up. now i have to get all that horrible images out of my head. urgh!
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
it's the 999th post! @
3:45 PM
i need food! biscuits, fruits, junk food, and there's none of these left in my house. i need to go out and grocery shop on my own soon. i wanna eat mashed potato and that marks and spencer potato chips. and partly why i've been stuffing myself with food and other junk is this anxiety that i keep feeling. it might be that final theory test that i have next saturday. amongst other things. but that test is on the top on my head. and i've been taking in too much sweets lately. and i know how it's gonna affect me. but i can't help it. cause i don't have anything else to eat at home. Will & Grace have been keeping me company every day and night. which is really nice. it's the time of the year when school starts (except mine) and i'm all alone again. and i squashed a baby cockroach this morning in the toilet. the cockroach juice spurted out. haha!
Saturday, January 03, 2009
@
2:29 AM
i like how one side of my hair dries up so quickly while the other side is still dripping wet. i like how i can feel the wind chill one side of my head while the hair on the other side flaps in the wind. i like touching the little short shaven hairs. i know i'm weird. haha. ranti like it how i rarely see my sister so that i will hate her less. my not seeing her around the house and not talking to her has made my hatred for her that i've built up over the year lessen. but that doesn't make me like her more. sooner or later it will just be a no love/hate relationship with her. i wonder how that will work out. and i've been talking to my aunt and we agree that she treats this house like her changing room. like a big walk-in wardrobe with a built-in makeup room and bathroom. the last i saw her was new year's eve and then i only saw her come back about 2 hours ago since. had a little small talk about her bf and about my and bro's new year's eve celebration and then she went off to take a bathe, pack some clothes, call a cab and disappear off to the bf place once again. i bet if her bf's place had a bigger wardrobe, she might be able to move her clothes there and if i'm lucky, i might be able to see her fortnightly! and i still wonder how she can sleep with her bf who shares the room with his brother on the double decker bed. and sometimes even the brother has the gf sleepover. how awkward. just hope the bed on top doesn't break from the weight and fall onto the ones below. cause it happened to me once when i shook my bed too much while doing sit ups and i dropped down. luckily my brother wasn't sleeping below. or else he might be paper thin now. /rant
Thursday, January 01, 2009
@
3:00 PM
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! A big bang to the start of a new year with the mini pop things at Zouk! The countdown to the new year was spent with ting, kaiyun, gerald, gary, ritz, marcus, liying, kaiteing, siow hong, and kaiyun's 2 friends. It was crazy awesome cause it is different from the past few years where i spent it at home with my family while watching the countdown at home on the tele. all that headbanging and dancing was fun but not the horrible half drunk guy who kept banging into me. much were talked about last night and many things have changed since i have known this group of OGL friends in 2006. I know how everyone made their new year's resolution. and i didn't intend to have one cause i usually don't remember it after january or i just don't keep it. but i shall have only one that i must keep this year; that is to complete my degree this year with good grades. 2008 made me realise many things. good and bad. and 2009 may be the turning point for me. i hope i will have the courage to go down that path; to be more out, loud and proud. haha. for one, i graduated from poly in 2008 during march. and then i managed to work on royston's 12 lotus feature film. though i think it didn't turn out that well, i learnt alot of stuff from working so intensively during that one month. met and made new friends, while trying to keep the old friends closer. worked on various TVCs which i loved. missed a few events, passed up a few, and i guess everyone is moving on too. and then headed off unwillingly to a foreign land for further study. until i met my friendly housemate(s). since school wasn't going all that well, she gave me something to look forward to everyday. hope next year's school will be better, hope to fit in more and be more outspoken. there's this stigma that asian kids are very quiet and don't really like to comment. haha. next year might really be life changing for me. since quite a few more people are heading off to melbourne to study also. so i'm looking forward to that also. and i'll be 21! freedom here i come! haha! i still wanna get that car license so that i can get my (car)key to real freedom then. lol. And to end it all off for the first post of the new year, here's a brand new hair for a brand new year. but don't diss my hair, i like it. =D CHEERS TO EVERYONE!  
|
